Con 27 1000 Word Story Entry.

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Spudgun
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Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:34 pm

Con 27 1000 Word Story Entry.

Post by Spudgun » Sun Nov 29, 2015 1:21 pm

I almost forgot about this. There were 4 entries in this competition. I was one. Jasper was another (He was the winner). Now. I hedged my bets and read out my entry on the Friday evening of the Con. Somehow. I had the feeling that nobody would have the opportunity to see any of the entries. Perhaps the competition needs re-jigging a little. Not that it matters for the moment. For anyone who missed the Friday night fun. Here was my entry.

Murder Most Horrid.
An Agatha De'Ath Mystery.

Chapter 1: Death can be Fatal.

The Rolls Royce Silver Ghost Pulled into Lord Chumley's drive as if it was floating on air. Lady Agatha De'Ath was sat in rear of the Rolls picking bits of foreigner out of her Horsewhip. She enjoyed thrashing anyone who didn't look quite British, as Cretin the Butler wafted the Silver Ghost along the quiet County roads. However, she felt it was a little undignified to lean out of the car to get a good swipe at any offending person.

"We have arrived Milady". Said Cretin haughtily. "Excellent Cretin". Replied Agatha. "Lord Chumley said that this was urgent and we're only 10 minutes late". "We would've arrived on time if you had refrained with interacting with a number of people along the way". Commented Cretin. Agatha frowned. " Johnny foreigner needs to be put in his place Cretin. When you're as British as we are. There are responsibilities"! The Butler sighed. " True Milady, but was it really necessary to reverse and hit three of them again"? Lady De'Ath started to look peevish. "They didn't fall to the floor on the first swipe Cretin. It's where Johnny foreigner belongs. Flat on their faces in the presence of British nobility". Cretin simply rolled his eyes. "Yes Milady".

The well-dressed duo walked up to door of the Chumley residence. With a deft, but deliberate move, Cretin the Butler rang the bell. The pair waited for 30 seconds. Nothing happened. "This is most untoward". Lady Agatha started. "It's unlike Lord Chumley to keep us waiting, considering the urgency of his call". The Butler turned. "I shall check the rear entrance Milady. Something may have happened". "Very good Cretin. Off you go". Replied Agatha. Looking aloof, Cretin walked around the corner and out of view.

A minute had passed when the front door opened. Standing in the doorway was Cretin. Even though he was totally in control. His composure seemed a little dented. "There has been an incident Milady". He announced. Agatha looked concerned. "Oh dear". She said. Cretin stepped back to allow Lady Agatha to enter. As Agatha strode into the house, Cretin said. "Lord Chumley is no longer with us". Lady Agatha marched into the Dining room. A few seconds later, her head appeared from the Dining room doorway. "Poppycock Cretin. Lord Chumley is right here on the Dining room floor". Lady Agatha once again vanished from view.

Cretin rolled his eyes once again. "Milady. When I say that Lord Chumley is no longer with us. I mean that Lord Chumley is no longer alive". Once again, Lady Agatha's head popped into view. She looked a little puzzled. Cretin slowly walked towards the Dining room entrance. "It appears Milady, that Lord Chumley has suffered a decapitation". Once again, Agatha's head vanished from view into the Dining room. "Again poppycock" snorted Agatha. "Lord Chumley hasn't suffered from anything. He's had his head ripped off". Cretin resisted the urge to face palm before he entered the Dining room.

As Cretin entered the Dining room he saw Lady Agatha poking Lord Chumley's body with her Horsewhip. "He's most definitely dead Cretin" she mused. "I suspect foul play Milady". Cretin commented. Agatha looked up. "What. Lord Chumley was killed by a Chicken"? "No Milady. That would be fowl play". The Butler replied. Agatha narrowed her eyes. "What's the difference Cretin"? She asked. Cretin stiffened up before replying. "I do not believe that a simple Chicken would be capable of removing Lord Chumley's head. Therefore it must be foul play".
Lady Agatha stroked her chin pensively with her gloved hand. "I wouldn't put it passed Lord Chumley to breed an incredibly large chicken. He once bread a Chicken that had four legs as he liked chicken drumsticks". Cretin looked puzzled. "How did the drumsticks taste Milady"? He asked. "I've no idea Cretin". She retorted. "He was never able to catch the thing".

Cretin the Butler walked over and stood by Lady Agatha's side. As he peered down at Lord Chumley's body, he mused, "Perhaps Lord Chumley's experiments are a clue to his demise. Milady. What was Lord Chumley's most recent experiment"? Lady Agatha paused for thought before replying. "He was working on a Pig that had five eyes". Cretins face appeared to go blank. "Milady. What would you call a Pig that had five eyes"? Agatha stopped stroking here chin and said "Oh that's simple Cretin. Piiiiig". Cretin snapped out of his daze. "Quite Milady".

Agatha turned and walked to the back of the Dining room. She paused for a moment before tuning to face her faithful Butler. "Cretin. We have a mystery on our hands. I believe that Lord Chumley wanted to tell us something important. It may involve a giant chicken". Cretin sighed. He had an idea where this was leading. "Yes Cretin" Agatha continued. "Lord Chumley was quite possibly beaked to death by a giant chicken". The long-suffering Butler wasn't disappointed. "I suggest that we put that theory to one side until we have some more clues". Agatha stroked her chin again. "Yes Cretin. There are other possibilities, but I'm certain that Lord Chumley's urgent call involved his animal experiments". Which may or may not have involved the aforementioned giant chicken". Exasperated. Cretin replied, "I believe we should keep an open mind as to Lord Chumley's demise". "You mean murder Cretin," snorted Agatha. "Murder?" enquired Cretin. "Yes, murder". Snapped Agatha. "Murder most horrid".

Outside the rear of the Chumley residence was a wooded area. Just inside the tree line, eyes were watching the activities of Lady Agatha and Cretin through the windows of the Dining room.

Will Lady Agatha De'Ath and Cretin solve the mystery of Lord Chumley's murder? Just who or what is in the woods watching our hero's? Does anyone seriously believe that a giant chicken is capable of murder? Find out in Chapter 2: Stop! You're killing me. Of: Murder most Horrid.


I'd be interested to see any of the other entries.
Frau Nydor is watching YOU!

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